2009 Retreat for Families of the Missing: Keys to Healing

[Kelly]

For information about the 2010 retreat and our needs for that event, please see: http://projectjason.org/forums/index.php?topic=6504.0


Click on the photo above to view a slideshow from the 2009 reteat


Keys to Healing: Mind, Body, and Spirit ~  Project Jason Retreat 2009 ~ Omaha, NE June 12-14



Hello to our families,
 
I am so very pleased to tell you that the Project Jason board of directors has given their blessing to a proposal of mine, which is something I have wanted to do since we founded the organization.
 
Please mark your calendars for June 12-14 2009. On those dates, Project Jason will be hosting a retreat for family members of both missing children and adults. The retreat is open to adult family members who reside anywhere in North America, and will take place at a spacious, comfortable, and scenic retreat center near Omaha, NE.


Comfortable accomodations and people who understand your unique needs await you.........
 
The main goals of the retreat are for family members to gain an understanding of the body's reaction to the trauma of missing a loved one, to recognize and understand the emotions which surface, and learn methods of coping. Family members will also benefit from meeting and networking with others who can relate to this unique tragedy. Classes offered during the retreat will cover all aspects of living in the "not knowing", with a focus on mental, spiritual, and physical healing.
 
Duane Bowers, Project Jason's Healing Harbor counselor, and one of the nation's most knowlegeable and respected authorities on dealing with the emotional issues faced by the families of the missing, will teach the main courses during the retreat.
 
While there are many other courses and events in the planning process, we'll just mention a couple of other features now:
 
1) A law enforcement official will be present to take DNA samples from biological family members who have not yet done this. These DNA samples will be processed by our friends at the Center for Human Identification lab in TX, and will be entered free of charge into the national CODIS database.
 
2) Free chair massages will be available on day two of the retreat.

3) A registered dietician will discuss healthy eating for busy and stessful lifestyles.

4) A certified personal trainer will reveal ways to exercise on the run, and how exercise alleviates stress.

......and more.   (Keep checking back for updates)


Find a place to rest your mind, body, and spirit...............
 
We feel this is such an important and needed venture. To our knowledge, there is no other open invitation retreat for families in the US.
 
We'll be providing you with additional information about the retreat every few months, and registration details coming at the end of this year.  We wanted to let you know now in case that would be helpful to you for planning purposes.
 
Feel free to pass this message along to other families of the missing you know. We're very excited about this, and hope that you are too.
 
With Hope, Always,
 
Kelly Jolkowski, Mother of Missing Jason Jolkowski
President and Founder,
Project Jason
http://www.projectjason.org


Take a peaceful walk among the pines................

Join us for your keys to healing.


The 2009 retreat is in loving memory of Mike Barbiere and in honor of missing Jason Jolkowski.


Mike Barbiere


Jason Jolkowski

[Kelly]

Project Jason is pleased to announce that registration for the Key to Healing 2009 Retreat is now open. The retreat will be held near Omaha, NE on June 12-14 2009.

This is the only retreat of its kind in the US and is open to families of the missing residing in North America. There is no other retreat open to both families of missing adults and children.

The main goals of the retreat are for family members to gain an understanding of the body's reaction to the trauma of missing a loved one, to recognize and understand the emotions which surface, and learn methods of coping. Family members will also benefit from meeting and networking with others who can relate to this unique tragedy. Classes offered during the retreat will cover all aspects of living in the "not knowing", with a focus on mental, spiritual, and physical healing.
 
Duane Bowers, Project Jason's Healing Harbor counselor, and one of the nation's most knowledgeable and respected authorities on dealing with the emotional issues faced by the families of the missing, will teach the main courses during the retreat.
 
In addition to the core classes with Duane, these are other valuable features of your Keys to Healing Retreat:

....A law enforcement official will be present to take DNA samples from biological family members who have not yet done this. These DNA samples will be processed  by our friends at the Center for Human Identification lab in TX, and will be entered free of charge into the national CODIS database.

....Free chair massages will be available on day two of the retreat.

....A registered dietician will discuss healthy eating for busy and stressful lifestyles.

....A certified personal trainer will reveal ways to exercise on the run, and how exercise alleviates stress.

......and more.

Core retreat classes include:

Understanding Trauma and our Body's Reaction to Long Term Trauma:

This session will provide a basic understanding of trauma and present how trauma physically changes our brain and body, as well as our chemistry. The session will go on to demonstrate how these physical changes result in poor physical, emotional and mental health. Attendees will learn strategies for coping with and changing these physical reactions, and exercises to alleviate stress.

Emotions Toolkit:

This session builds on the trauma session and presents emotions of guilt, fear, and anger. The session will look at the brain functioning involved with these emotions, and ways to intervene and effectively reduce the affect of these three emotions.

The New Normal:

This session will help attendees understand and recognize that their feelings, given their situation, are normal. Building on the information of the two previous classes, practical exercises to help the attendees adapt to the situation and regain some normalcy in their lives are shared. This session answers the "How do I go on?" question.

Putting it all Together:

This will be an open session with back and forth dialog and questions to ensure attendees have gained an understanding of the emotions dealt with in this situation and the coping skills shared in the previous sessions.

We're also pleased to announce that the Project Jason Board of Directors has agreed to subsidize the cost of each room by $100.00. You'll see this reflected in the pricing as shown below.

Pricing for the Project Jason Keys to Healing 2009 Retreat

The pricing is done on a per person per room basis, as that is how we are charged by the retreat center. As the center has a limited number of rooms, we encourage attendees in the same family to share a room if possible so that we can keep the retreat open for as many families as possible. As mentioned, we are paying a $100 per room subsidy to help keep the costs down so more families can attend. The prices are in bold below. 

Rates:

1 person in a room  $255.00 - $100.00 Project Jason subsidy= $155.00   
2 persons in a room $388.00 - $100.00 Project Jason subsidy= $288.00  ($144 per person)
3 persons in a room $511.00 - $100.00 Project Jason subsidy= $411.00  ($137 per person)
4 persons in a room $590.00 - $100.00 Project Jason subsidy= $490.00  ($123 per person)

If you have more than 5 persons who will be sharing, ask for pricing. The rooms can hold 3 queen size beds, so it is possible to have up to 6 people in a room.

Day Rate: $35.00 per day (no subsidy)

This fee covers the retreat classes, snacks, and the noon meal. No transportation is included in this price. This rate would be applicable to persons who are traveling on their own (via automobile) to the retreat, and have their own lodging.

What the Retreat fee covers: Your retreat fees cover transportation to and from the airport, your room at the retreat center, all classes, talks, related activities, and meals. The retreat center features a free 24 hour hospitality center with a wide variety of snacks and beverages, including coffee, juices, soft drinks, fruit, popcorn, candy, and ice cream, so there is no need to bring money for expensive vending machines.

If you would like to attend the retreat, please follow these steps:

1)    Read all retreat documentation (listed below) before registration so you are aware of all pertinent information including cancellation policies and transportation considerations.

2)    After reading the two documents listed below, continue on to this page to access the registration forms. http://www.projectjason.org/keysregistration.html  Choose the one applicable to your situation. Examples: You, your husband, and your daughter are attending and sharing one room. Select the 3 Person Registration Form, fill in out, and hit the submit button at the bottom of the page when complete.  If you live nearby, are not staying overnight at the retreat center, and do not need transportation, select the Daily Registration Form.

3)    After completing the registration form, either mail in your payment or use either PayPal or change.org to make your payment. Our mailing address and the online payment buttons can be found here: http://www.projectjason.org/help.html

4)    Remember that the retreat center has a limited number of rooms, and your room is not reserved until payment and registration forms are received and processed. We will let you know we have received your completed documents and payment.

Read: http://www.projectjason.org/retreatRegistration.pdf  (scroll down to the information area below the registration section)
Read: http://www.projectjason.org/retreatSchedule.pdf  This document covers all schedule and class information.

Helpful Hint: When filling out the online registration, do not migrate to another webpage or hit your browser's back button, or you will lose the data you entered.

Please feel free to ask questions, and start making plans to attend on June 12-14 2009.  See http://www.projectjason.org/retreat.html for additional information.

We're very excited about the retreat, and look forward to meeting you there!

[Kelly]

When the Number is Zero
Why the Retreat is For You

Today, when I came home from work and checked the mail, there was a letter from the Social Security Administration Office. I remembered this letter from years past, having seen the same one arrive at various times of year for my husband, my 19-year-old son, and for me. They arrive several months before our birthdays, and tell how much money was earned each year, going many years back for the addressee. I’m sure many of you have seen these letters.

I was thinking it might be for my younger son, whose birthday is in May, or perhaps mine, as my birthday is in June. But it was not addressed to either one of us. It was addressed to Jason, my older son, who will have been missing for 8 years this June 13th. His birthday is also in June, and in fact is two days after mine. I went into labor with him on the evening of my birthday, a night I will never forget.

Seeing his name on the envelope startled me. I hadn't considered the possibility they would still send this letter. It is also quite rare now for any mail to come that is addressed to Jason. The memories came crashing back in: memories of the fears, hurt, and anxiety surrounding his disappearance. The name on the envelope was a painful reminder of the passage of time without an answer. It was a slap in the face; a forced look at the cold, hard, reality of living in the not knowing.

I ripped open the envelope and unfolded the letter to reveal the annual earnings data. Rows for every year from 2002 on each revealed a zero. I scanned down the column for 2008. What if there was a number there? Anything would do, even a small number. It could mean that Jason was out there somewhere. I turned away and considered not looking at it because I was sure the number in the 2008 row would be zero, just as it had been the year before.

I had to look. I had to continue to face everything head on, and deal with whatever the answer was, or, in our case, lack of any answer whatsoever.

I turned back to the letter and scanned to the row for 2008. The number was zero.

I quickly folded up the letter and placed it back in the envelope. It felt different in my hands, perhaps heavier, and I imagined that there was now a large red stamp on the front that read:

YES, YOUR SON IS STILL MISSING.    

I laid the envelope down on the table where my husband would find it when he came home.

The number inside was zero and nothing was going to change that.

The only thing that could change was my reaction to it. I could choose how it would affect me and how I would deal with it. I would take all that I’ve learned about coping and find the key to what works for me. I could and would go on, no matter how many “envelopes with zeroes” presented themselves.

We all have reminders of our missing loved ones. Some might be like the envelope with the zero inside. Some will be more disappointing and hurtful than others. Most will come much more frequently than once per year, and others may always be with us. There are frustrations and real fears on top of the reminders.

When the number is zero, what will you do? How can you handle fear of the zeroes? What if zeroes are all you ever see? How will you go on? 

Some of your answers lie in having the keys you’ll receive at the Keys to Healing retreat hosted by Project Jason. The families-only retreat will help you find the answers to those questions, and many more.

The main goals of the retreat are for family members to gain an understanding of the body's reaction to the trauma of missing a loved one, to recognize and understand the emotions which surface, and learn methods of coping. Family members will also benefit from meeting and networking with others who can relate to this unique tragedy. Classes offered during the retreat will cover all aspects of living in the "not knowing," with a focus on mental, spiritual, and physical healing.

The retreat is open to adult family members who reside anywhere in North America, and will take place at a spacious, comfortable, and scenic retreat center near Omaha, NE.

Note: A professional filmmaker, who is making a documentary about Project Jason, will be at the retreat. She will interview you only if you are comfortable doing so. She and her crew will remain in the background and will not be present during the core classes to maintain your privacy and comfort.

This is an outstanding awareness opportunity for your missing loved one, so we encourage you to be a part of “Project Jason, A Voice for the Missing.”

You can read more about the film here: http://projectjason.org/forums/index.php?topic=5855

[Kelly]

New optional classes have been added to the schedule. New classes are noted with an asterisk.


Here is a synopsis of the retreat classes:

Core Classes

Understanding Trauma and our Body's Reaction to Long Term Trauma:  

Basic understanding of trauma with strategies for coping with and changing the physical reactions, and exercises to alleviate stress.

Emotions Toolkit:

Emotions of guilt, fear, and anger and ways to intervene and effectively reduce the effect of these three emotions.

The New Normal:

This session includes practical exercises to help the attendees adapt to the situation and regain some normalcy in their lives. This session answers the "How do I go on?" question.

Putting it all Together:

Open session to ensure attendees have gained an understanding of the emotions dealt with in this situation and the coping skills shared in the previous sessions.

Optional Classes

*With sufficient attendance, a private support class for stepparents of a missing person will be held.

A dietician covers nutrition for our stressful lives.

A personal trainer reveals tips for exercising on the run and starting a program that works for you.

Ministers of the faith will discuss the answer to the question ‘Why, God?” and faith’s part in this journey.

*A 25 year public relations and media expert will share tips and advice on how to effectively deal with the media.

*Second Life: A place for awareness for your missing loved one.

*Using Project Jason’s private family member forums and your Healing Harbor benefit. 

Other benefits:

Free Chair Massages

Free DNA Sampling

[Kelly]

Hello,

With great joy, we announce that today the Project Jason Board of Directors made the decision to hold the Keys to Healing Retreat. Our numbers are not as high as we’d like, but we felt this too important of an opportunity for the families we serve to not make this available.

Your well-being is the most important element in what we do: Support.

The retreat, and all that it offers, is the best training offered anywhere for persons living with the ambiguous loss of a child or adult loved one.

We all know the difficulties we face in this situation. We know the emotions and the frustrations. None of us know how long this journey will last, so it’s important that we do all that we do what we can to keep ourselves mentally, physically, and spiritually strong for when the time comes for us to have our answers. These are the Keys to Healing, the keys for you to be able to face each day without your missing loved one.

I have been blessed during my nearly 8 years since Jason’s disappearance to have had a good support system, faith for the journey, and training to understand what is happening inside me and how to handle a variety of situations as they come along. I have learned to laugh again and experience joy, while at the same time keeping the search for my son active. I could not possibly box up what I learned and send it to you, but I could give it to you in the Keys to Healing retreat.

So, this is my gift to you from me and Project Jason. I hope you’ll be able be able to join us. 

Please also look below my signature for additional information.

Kelly Jolkowski, Mother of Missing Jason Jolkowski
President and Founder,
Project Jason
www.projectjason.org

Note: I had a question posed to me about pricing. The prices listed are for the entire retreat, not just one night. It covers everything but your travel here.

Important for attendees flying in: Be sure to read my travel pointers below.

Important: Your room is not held until payment is received. Be sure to read all retreat documentation and cancellation policies first. There are a limited number of rooms.

[Kelly]

Kelly's Travel Pointers:

Be familiar with all the airlines that fly out of your airport. (You can do a websearch for your airport, and it will list all the airlines that service it.) The major booking sites listed below generally only work with certain airlines. You're potentially losing some better prices with airlines who don't work with the online booking sites. These include Midwest, Frontier, JetBlue, Southwest, and others.

Sign up for email notifications for all major travel booking websites, such as Expedia, Travelocity, Hotwire, Orbitz, Priceline, Cheap-O-Air, and others. Go to the site after signing up and do a search for flight pricing from the airport near you to Omaha. What will happen then is that they will plant a cookie on your PC that tracks where you are wanting to fly to, and then, typically within a few days, you'll start to get emails with special offers to Omaha. The major airlines mentioned in paragraph one will do this as well, so sign up with them, too.

Keep in mind that for some, booking a flight from an airport that may not necessarily be the closest one to you may net a better fare. You have to decide if the longer drive is worth the possible savings.

Caution: Watch for hidden costs. Generally, and especially on the booking sites, the price you're shown first is not the total price. There will be taxes and fees they don't include. There usually is a place to click on the price to show other fees and taxes. Read the fine print. Some of the major carriers are now charging a fee for checked luggage. This fee may not be added into the fares shown. If you can manage with one or two small carry-ons, you'll save the fee.

Also, booking to fly in on a Friday and leaving on a Sunday is going to be higher than coming in on Thursday and leaving on Monday. Again, look at the savings and calculate hotel costs to see if you really would be saving. Since the College World Series begins on June 12th, staying over on the Sunday night is going to be very expensive. Coming in on Thursday will be much cheaper. I called the Super 8, which is the closest hotel to the retreat center, and the cost on Thursday night will be $79, jumping to $122 on Sunday!

When I start to plan a trip, I will do searches on all major airlines sites as well as the major booking sites. This way, I start to get all the special offer emails pouring in. The last trip I booked cost only a little over $200, which is quite good coming out of a smaller airport like Omaha. This came from an email from Northwest Airlines who knew where I was going (because of my previous searches) and wanted my business. American Airlines and some of the booking sites had some good offers, too, but not as good. Even though the searching took me several hours, I saved quite a bit, and that is well worth it to me. I will usually book a couple of weeks after the initial searches because by that time, I am getting saturated with special offer emails and find the best price. After a time, the emails will slow down as they know you probably booked your trip elsewhere.

Note: Not all airlines and booking sites will plant cookies and send notices pertinent to your specific travel plans, but it may be worth signing up just in case.

If possible, try to arrive in the early afternoon timeframe on Friday and leave after 2pm on Sunday, or as close to that as you can. We don't want you to miss a thing!

If it looks like you're going to get the best price on the booking sites and airlines who participate in GoodShop.com, consider helping Project Jason by booking through the special links as explained below.

Help Project Jason by Booking Travel through GoodSearch                                 

http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx

Type Project Jason in the “Who Do You GoodSearch For?” box and then click on “Verify”.

Next, click on “Shopping” which you’ll see above the line where Project Jason now is listed.

Scroll down and look over to the far left. Travel is at the bottom of the Shopping categories. Click on Travel.

Scroll down to see a wide variety of travel booking companies. If you click on the link for the one of interest and make your purchase through that link, Project Jason gets an extra kickback donated by that company. Each donation amount is listed on the company link. For example, Orbitz gives a $2-$15 donation. Travelocity gives 1%. Every little bit helps, so why not check trip prices here and see if you get a good price?

We also want to remind supporters that there are numerous other types of businesses in GoodShop and anything you buy online through the other links benefits us!

[Kelly]

Official Retreat Press Release:

First National Retreat for Families of Missing Persons To Help Families Cope With Unique Loss
“Keys to Healing” Retreat June 12-14 sponsored by nonprofit Project Jason to teach families methods for dealing with trauma, “living in the not knowing.”

Omaha, Nebraska – (May 2009) – Project Jason, a nonprofit that assists families of missing persons, announced the first national retreat ever to focus specifically on the wellbeing of family members who are searching for their lost loved ones. “Keys to Healing: Mind, Body, and Spirit” will take place June 12-14 at the Swanson Center at Camp Carol Joy Holling near Omaha in Ashland, Nebraska.

“There are resources that teach families of the missing the mechanics of what to do when someone disappears,” said Kelly Jolkowski, president and founder of Project Jason. “Until now, there were no opportunities for family members of both missing children and adults to focus on the emotional and physical trauma that understandably accompanies such an ordeal. We want the families who attend Keys to Healing to walk away with better coping skills, self-understanding and renewed hope.”

The retreat is open to family members of missing persons whose cases are listed with law enforcement agencies in North America. Sessions will be conducted by professional instructors, including a licensed counselor, personal trainer, dietician, missing person advocate, massage therapist, and a minister of faith.  Attendees will learn how long term trauma affects the body, how to address that trauma, and how to recognize and handle emotions such as guilt, fear and anger that come into play. There will also be a session designed to answer the question of “How do I go on?”

Featured speakers:

Duane T. Bowers, LPC, is the nation’s foremost traumatic loss therapist and educator. Among his many services to families dealing with grief is providing support to families of abducted, missing, exploited and murdered children through the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) and to families of missing persons of any age through Project Jason’s Healing Harbor. Bowers is the author of “Guiding Your Family Through Loss and Grief” and “A Child is Missing: Providing Support for Families of Missing Children.”

Richard J. Hauser, S.J., is a professor of theology at Creighton University, a nationally-renowned speaker, and author of numerous books, including “In His Spirit: A Guide to Today's Spirituality” and “Finding God in Troubled Times,” in which Hauser offers meaningful answers to all those who have found their faith challenged by difficult experiences.

For more information about “Keys to Healing: Mind, Body, and Spirit”
Project Jason Retreat 2009, go to http://www.projectjason.org/retreat.html.

**Media attendance at the retreat, and interviews with Project Jason representatives and families, are accommodated upon request.

About Project Jason

Project Jason, founded in 2003, is a nonprofit organization dedicated to assisting the families of missing persons, and creating and increasing public awareness of missing people through a variety of outreach and educational activities. Project Jason brings hope and assistance to families of the missing by providing resources and support. The organization is based in Omaha, Nebraska.

For more information about Project Jason’s objectives, activities and services, go to http://www.projectjason.org

#  #  #

[Kelly]

The 2009 Project Jason Keys to Healing is but now a memory, but oh, what a powerful and lasting one it is. I believe that we achieved our goals and more. It was an overwhelming feeling to see the faces of joy on Sunday and the bonding that had occured. I know not where I look when I say "Jason, we did it with all of us working together....in your name and for the families!"

[Kelly]

http://omaha.com/article/20090615/NEWS01/306159899

Project Jason retreat draws 20

    
Kelly Jolkowski could see the anxiety and sadness on the faces of the 20 people who came to a retreat Friday near Ashland, Neb.

They all have experienced the sorrow of having a loved one disappear and not knowing that person's fate.

But by Sunday, two days later, the participants had changed, said Jolkowski, who helps families of missing people. "Their faces lifted," she said. "They learned that they can still experience joy in their lives."

The participants came from places throughout the United States for the retreat, called "Keys to Healing: Mind, Body and Spirit." It was sponsored by Project Jason, a nonprofit organization named after Jolkowski's son, who disappeared from his Omaha family eight years ago at age 19. Saturday marked the anniversary of his disappearance.

The retreat, at Carol Joy Holling Camp, helped participants understand the physical and emotional trauma caused by a loved one's disappearance, Jolkowski said. They were treated to talks and help from a therapist, priest, dietician, personal trainer and massage therapist. "We pampered them," Jolkowski said. "That's what they needed."

Jolkowski said she hopes Project Jason can make the retreat an annual event. Project Jason covered $100 of each person's costs, she said. The retreat cost $155 per person or $288 for a couple and included everything for the weekend: meals, snacks, materials and lodging.