Originally posted on 01/15/07
by Denise
These parents know the pain of kids still missing
By Jessica Bock and Tim O'Neil
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
01/15/2007
They saw the parents in anguish and know the pain. And they lived it with them, because their own pain never stops.
They are the parents of the St. Louis area's small but heart-rending list of missing children, a list reduced by two through Friday's electrifying news. The parents who wait are glad for the families of William "Ben" Ownby Jr., 13, and Shawn Hornbeck, 15, but they cannot help but think of their own children, whose faces are still on "missing" posters. Their pain continues.
Here are three of their stories.
'I keep hoping'
Life is all about "befores" for Debra Henderson-Griffith.
Before her husband, Arthur, died of emphysema. Before her daughter was killed. And before her son, Arlin, went for a bike ride on July 25, 1991, near Moscow Mills in Lincoln County and never came home.
Thoughts of her missing child always fill her mind, but have more so this past week as another family was living their own nightmare  a nightmare that ended the way Henderson-Griffith has been praying hers will.
"I'm happy, but I wish it was Arlin. But I wonder why they can't find my son," said Henderson-Griffith as she sobbed during a phone interview from her Moscow Mills home after news of the rescue broke Friday.
Henderson-Griffith cried for the boys and their families. She cried for her son. And she couldn't help but wonder if the case would somehow lead to answers in his disappearance.
Arlin's uncle, Jim McWilliams, said he called the FBI immediately upon hearing the news. McWilliams said Arlin's disappearance may be linked to Michael J. Devlin, the suspect in the Ownby-Hornbeck cases. Like Shawn, Arlin was riding his bike near his rural home. And both boys were 11.
"I said, 'I'm not even going to ask, I'm going to insist that Arlin's name be brought up in this investigation,'" McWilliams said. "It's a good possibility. I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on this. Our hearts go out to these families. I'm glad for some good news for the return of both of these boys, and I'm trying to hold out hope for my family. We're not going to give up hope. We cannot."
Arlin would be 26 now.
His case has been tumultuous for his family. In 2001, Joshua Spangler confessed to killing Arlin at the behest of two other men. He pleaded guilty to murder and testified against them. Then he recanted and admitted he made up the story.
That was just after Arlin's sister, Joy Leonard, was killed in 2000 by her estranged husband, Robert Leonard, who also took his own life. She was 29.
"I haven't given up on Arlin yet. I'll never give up, but it gets harder and harder," Henderson-Griffith said. "You don't know what to do anymore. You don't know who to ask anymore."
"Why did this happen?"
LaToya Coleman, an assistant manager at an Aldi supermarket in St. Louis, was working when she overheard two customers happily discuss an astonishing news flash.
"The ladies were saying, 'Did you hear they just found that little boy? No, they found two. Isn't that a miracle?'" Coleman said. "'That's wonderful,' I said. 'I'm happy for their families.'"
"Then I had to go into the office and cry," she said Sunday. "What about C.J.? Why can't they find C.J.?"
C.J. is Cermen Toney Jr., her younger son, who was 4 years old when he disappeared on Nov. 6, 2005. C.J. and Anquiaetta M. Parker, 19, his cousin and baby sitter, were last seen in the State Park Place area near Collinsville. Parker's car was found at a VFW hall parking lot in State Park Place.
Parker, who was pregnant, had been watching C.J. at Coleman's mother's apartment in East St. Louis.
Illinois State Police say they have been collecting evidence and consider one man a suspect but have been unable to seek charges.
Coleman, 26, lived in Centreville at the time but moved with her older son, Travis, 9, to live with a sister in St. Louis. Coleman couldn't bear staying in the apartment they shared with C.J.
"There's never a day when I don't think about C.J. all the time. It's a nightmare you don't wake out of," said Coleman. "I ask myself, 'How did I get here? Why did this happen?' So many times, I don't want to go on anymore. But I have two kids. I have to be there for them. I have to wait."
On Saturday, she watched some of the news reports showing the relieved, joyous families of Ben and Shawn but had to leave the room after a short time. "I am happy for them. I really am," Coleman said of the families. "It shows you can't give up hope."
Coleman spoke through tears during a brief interview at work Sunday but insisted that the interview continue. She wanted the newspaper to tell her story again, to run C.J.'s picture again.
"Somebody out there knows something. Maybe this will be the time they speak," she said. "I just want to know that C.J.'s safe, that he's alive.
"Hope is what I hang on to."
'It gives me hope'
Antacid. A binder to organize information. Lots of Kleenex.
Shannon Tanner needed these items in the first week of the search for her 13-year-old daughter, Bianca Piper, who disappeared in March 2005 near Foley in Lincoln County. And Tanner included them in a care package she delivered Wednesday night to Ben's family while he was still missing.
Tanner reached out to the Ownby family to help just as Shawn's parents had reached out to her when Bianca vanished. The Shawn Hornbeck Foundation hosts the website, findbianca.org.
"They've been so helpful and so involved," said Tanner. She remembers that when she first met Pam and Craig Akers, Shawn's parents, their son had been missing for more than two years.
"It was hard for me to swallow the fact that it could be two years, that Bianca could be missing that long, too. Now, I'm at that same point," Tanner said.
Bianca was 13 when Tanner let her out of her car about a mile from their home on McIntosh Hill Road the evening of March 10. A mental health professional had suggested trying the tactic to give Bianca a chance to calm down after a quarrel. The girl suffers from bipolar and attention deficit hyperactivity disorders.
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