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Children Bullying Children


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#1 Kathylene

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Posted 17 May 2007 - 09:58 AM

 [/hr]While we talk our children about safety guides on the internet and safety guides on preventing abductions, it is important to talk to our children about another form of abuse which may be very serious and which may sometimes go unnoticed.

I am speaking about abuse from other children. This includes verbal abuse, which may have a deep impact on our children.

So please speak to them about it.

The following is an article from Parade Magazine written by Rosalind Wiseman, an Author & Educator on Children, Teens, Parenting and Social Justice.

We greatly appreciate Parade Magazine and the author Rosalind Wiseman for granting us permission to reprint the story in full.

© 2007 Rosalind Wiseman. Initially published in Parade Magazine. All rights reserved.

PARADE Magazine | PARADE Home



Kids are using technology to hurt and humiliate each other.

How To Fight the New Bullies

By Rosalind Wiseman
Published: February 25, 2007

divagirl: Hey, loser, watch your back.
surferchick: What r u talking about?
divagirl: Why don’t you kill yourself while u r ahead?
surferchick: Why can’t you just leave me alone?
divagirl: Ugly girls like you need to be put in their place.

Bullies used to be big kids who picked on smaller ones. But instant messages (like the exchange above), cell phones and the Internet have changed that. Today, young people are using technology against each other: It’s called cyberbullying, and it can be as frightening as face-to-face aggression. While most parents worry that their child will fall victim to a sexual predator online, cyberbullying often slips under the radar. Here’s what you need to know:

Cyberbullies use e-mail, instant messages (IMs), cell phones, text messages, photos, videos and social networking sites to humiliate and threaten others. For example, a student uses her cell-phone camera to take a picture of a classmate changing clothes after gym, then uploads it onto her computer and forwards it to friends along with cruel commentary.

What makes cyberbullying so easy—and tempting—is the mask of anonymity the Web provides, along with a potentially huge audience. As Parry Aftab, executive director of WiredSafety, explains: “ There’s a lack of social norms when children use technology to communicate. Because you can be anonymous, there’s no fear of detection. Even if you identify yourself, you don’t see people’s reactions and realize you have gone too far.”

For the victim, cyberbullying can be especially damaging because it’s so pervasive. “Whenever I was on my computer, I’d get IMs saying that everyone hated me and I should watch my back,” says Alison, a ninth-grader in Washington, D.C. “It seemed like it was from girls who I thought were my friends. When I confronted them, they denied it and blamed it on someone else. I never knew who was really behind it. I got really paranoid and couldn’t concentrate in school.”

Fortunately, the legal and educational systems have begun to address this problem. From Florida to Oregon, educators and state legislators are incorporating cyberbullying into their bullying policies or drafting new laws. Vermont currently is working to amend its bullying laws in response to the suicide of 13-year-old Ryan Patrick Halligan, who was bullied both in school and online.

These new regulations often include language that allows school officials to intervene in incidents that occur away from school if the activity impacts the learning environment. And later this year, the Supreme Court will hear a case concerning whether public school officials can suppress student speech off-campus. The decision could determine whether students can be disciplined for off-campus communications that include online threats. In the meantime, violence-prevention experts and educators, including myself, are working to create guidelines for using technology ethically.

Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out, tells teens: “Be the same person online that you are in real life. If you wouldn’t say it, don’t send it. And remember: The Internet is like the bathroom wall. Secrets and privacy don’t exist online.” Adds Parry Aftab: “Be careful that, in reacting, you don’t become the bully yourself. You can go from being a target to a perpetrator all too easily.”

Shanterra McBride, a spokesperson for Stand Up!, a program that educates teens and parents about cyberbullying, advises parents to learn what’s happening online: “Don’t be intimidated by technology. Sit down with your child and let him or her take you through Web sites like MySpace, Facebook and YouTube.”

If you discover that your child has targeted someone, take away the weapon—the computer or cell phone—and make him or her earn it back. At the same time, bear in mind that many children use technology responsibly, and those who struggle socially in person often communicate better in cyberspace. We don’t need to freak out. We do need to know what our kids can do with technology and hold them accountable when they use it unethically.

Watch the video: Matt Lauer interviews Rosalind Wiseman on The Today Show.

__________________________________________________ ______________________________________

How common is cyberbullying?

90% of middle school students have had their feelings hurt online.

75% have visited a Web site bashing another student.

40% have had their password(s) stolen and changed by a bully who then locked them out of their own account or sent communications posing as them.

Only 15% of parents polled knew what cyberbullying was.

SOURCE: WiredSafety

__________________________________________________ ______________________________________

What Parents Can Do

Use technology as an opportunity to reinforce your family values. If you buy a cell phone or computer for your child, attach rules for appropriate use and consequences if these rules are broken.

Move the computer out of your child’s bedroom and into the family room.

Teach your child not to share passwords.

Install monitoring and filtering software. Find free downloads at K9 Web Protection and Safe Families.

Monitor your child’s screen name(s) and Web sites for inappropriate content.

Save and print out any evidence if your child is cyberbullied. Decide together to whom you should go for additional assistance.


Rosalind Wiseman is an educator and the author of the best-seller “Queen Bees & Wannabes” and “Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads.”


Link to report:

Cyberbullying: How to fight the new bullies | PARADE Magazine


#2 Kelly

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Posted 30 May 2013 - 10:06 PM

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How Great Teachers Can Identify and Prevent Bullying in Schools


by Contributor on Apr 21, 2012

Bullies and their victims often cannot be recognized by teachers, but students know who they are. Many studies over the past several years have revealed how teachers and parents can recognize bullies. Some of these observations include some work, such as surveys among students and listening to “self-reported” bullies talk about their exploits and to victims as they share their plights. But, the bullying doesn’t stop there, as recent reports show that teachers also can be the bullies. Learn more about how bullying is defined, and what teachers and other authority figures can do about reducing this behavior across the board in schools.

What Constitutes Bullying?

Bully Free ZoneAccording to the government site, Stop Bullying, bullying is defined as “unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.” Bullying is emotional, verbal and physical and includes actions such as:

    Making threats
    Spreading rumors
    Attacking someone physically or verbally
    Excluding someone from a group on purpose

Many of these behaviors are considered crimes under state and federal law and may trigger serious consequences after the age of 18. But, it is important to remember that young children are learning how to share, cooperate, and get along. Sometimes, aggressive behaviors constitute learning opportunities, and these acts and appropriate responses often do not constitute bullying, especially among younger children. When two students of the same strength or age argue or fight, this also does not represent bullying.

Bullying behavior affects everyone, including the bullies. But, victims often are at higher risk, as they may not receive help until it’s too late. Although anyone is at risk for becoming a victim, there are high-risk populations among school-aged children. These populations include:

    Lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT) youth
    Youth with disabilities
    Socially isolated youth

While it can be difficult to discern bullying on school grounds, it is even more difficult to learn about this behavior when the attacks are made through the Internet. Cyberbullying is on the increase, and this behavior includes mean text messages or emails, rumors sent by email or posted on social networking sites, and embarrassing pictures, videos, websites, or fake profiles.
Bully Identification

Responses to BullyingDan Olweus, a Swedish psychology professor, spent decades researching bullying, and is generally recognized as a pioneer and Founding Father of research on bully/victim issues. Olweus’s intervention program against bullying has gained both international and national recognition. Among other things, the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program was recently selected as one of 10 “model programs” to be used in a national violence prevention initiative in the U.S. and supported by the U.S. Department of Justice.

This program identifies bullies and victims, and can provide a way for teachers and other authority figures to recognize some key proponents that constitute bullies:

    They have a strong need to dominate and subdue other students and to get their own way
    Are impulsive and are easily angered
    Are often defiant and aggressive toward adults, including parents and teachers
    Show little empathy toward students who are victimized
    If they are boys, they are physically stronger than boys in general

Typical characteristics of submissive victims include:

    Are cautious, sensitive, quiet, withdrawn and shy
    Are often anxious, insecure, unhappy and have low self-esteem
    Are depressed and engage in suicidal ideation much more often than their peers
    Often do not have a single good friend and relate better to adults than to peers
    If they are boys, they may be physically weaker than their peers

A helpful chart [PDF] shows how bullying can escalate when no one stops the cycle. This cycle also identifies how others become involved in bullying, even on a passive level, as they are disengaged, don’t take a stand, or like the bullying but don’t take an active part. The only way to stop this cycle is to defend the victim.
Finding the Student Bullies

Anti LGBT BullyingJoanna Cole, MS, Dewey Cornell, PhD, and Peter Sheras, PhD, assembled a youth violence presentation [PDF] that contends that one of the only ways teachers and parents may learn about bullying is to conduct an anonymous and confidential survey among students. This survey allows for a well-respected approach in research on children’s social status and emotional adjustment. Teachers also do not have to rely on any single student, so the problem of minimizing or over- and under-reporting is not an issue.

From one survey, the researchers learned that many teachers do not identify bullies that students identified through the survey. Despite the success of this survey, a multimethod approach is recommended, including self-report surveys, teacher nominations, peer nominations, student interviews with victims, and school-wide awareness and education.

Other than the links already provided, teachers also can take advantage of the following resources to learn more about how to identify and prevent bullying in the classroom:

    Bully Free Program: This program offers “Bully-Free Lesson Plans,” products, training, and services.
    Bully Free World: A wealth of resources for parents and teachers about bullying and harassment.
    No Name-Calling Week: This site carries resources, kits, and partnerships to learn how to develop a “No name-calling week” at your school or in your classroom.
    Preventing Classroom Bullying — What Teachers Can Do [PDF]: This free booklet by Jim Wright offers a complete program for teachers to prevent bullying in the classroom.
    TeacherVision: This site page offers dozens of resources for teachers, including information about socially inappropriate behaviors, the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center, and the National Center for Bullying Prevention.
    The Bully Proof Classroom: This blog includes lessons, anti-bullying quotes, activities and lesson plans, and other great resources for teachers.

The Other Bully in the Classroom

No BullyingUnfortunately, recent reports show that teachers also can be bullies in the classroom. From Education News to personal blogs, this topic has gained more attention as the topic about bullying receives wider acceptance. This news can be disturbing, especially when parents are seeking help for their student victim from teachers who display the same characteristics as peer bullies.

How do you stop this behavior when it comes from authority figures? In one case, parents, students and gay-rights supporters packed a school board meeting and protested on the first day of classes, calling for two teachers to be fired. More than 2,000 people have joined a Facebook group dedicated to the same cause. While both teachers still have their jobs, the focus now is on their behaviors, and supportive of the teen who was harassed by those instructors.

Finding the bully in the classroom may not be easy. But, once uncovered, hopefully some understandings can be reached about modifying behaviors to include respect, understanding, and maturity. Until students and adults learn these lessons, the prospect of becoming a victim remains ever present.

Kelly Murphy, Mother of Missing Jason Jolkowski
President and Founder,
Project Jason
www.projectjason.org

Please help us in our mission as a 501 c 3 nonprofit: http://projectjason....y-campaign.html

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