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Privacy Also A Victim in the Tara Grinstead Mystery
By Seamus McGraw August 2, 2006
OCILLA, Ga. (Crime Library) - It's been this way for months now, a fetid cloud of suspicion and rumor rising up from the swamps outside Ocilla, spreading through the Internet, sometimes reaching thousands of miles, and infecting people with a taint rooted in blind innuendo.
In the nine months since beauty queen and school teacher Tara Grinstead vanished, authorities and family members have tracked down scores of possible leads, they've interviewed old boyfriends, and others close to the woman, they've scoured her bank accounts and studied her mental state in the days leading up to her disappearance.
Just recently, the Georgia Bureau of Investigation dispatched crime scene technicians to Ocilla to reexamine sites they had already visited, and investigators, both official and freelance, continue to probe the woman and the circumstances surrounding her sudden and mysterious vanishing.
Despite it all, however, authorities say they still don't know whereTara is or what happened to her. Though privately some concede that they no longer believe there is any hope that she alive, they have found no proof of that, much less any evidence that would lead them to conclude whether she died accidentally, by her own hand, at the hands of someone else, or perhaps even some combination of all or some of those scenarios.
"We don't have a clue," one law enforcement official told Crime Library.
But the lack of hard and conclusive evidence has done little to chill the heated speculation in some quarters about Tara's fate. Nowhere is that more true than on the Internet's message boards where sleuths, some of them amateurs, some of them partisans of one particular theory about Tara's disappearance or another, trade tips and theories, and sometimes little more than unvarnished suspicions.
Old boyfriend sees his personal life discussed in the Net
To some degree the boards are a new and useful tool in investigations. They provide a forum for an exchange of ideas, and investigators in cases like Tara's often monitor them closely. But they can also be intrusive and potentially harmful.
Jim Perry, a young man in Ohio, now going through a rocky time in his marriage, has learned that lesson firsthand.
Perry, who lives in northeastern Ohio but was raised in the Hawkinsville area where Tara grew up, had long ago dated a very young Tara Grinstead. In an interview with Crime Library, he said that the two had become close while she was a high school freshman and he an older student at the school, and though they didn't date long, they remained friends for years afterwards.
They would speak a couple of times a year on the phone, he said, and whenever he found himself in Ocilla, he would touch base with Tara's mother, and if possible, get together briefly with his old friend.
It was a purely platonic relationship, and the two developed romantic interests in others. He ultimately met and married a young veterinarian, originally from Cleveland Heights and though the two are now separated, they are raising a young child. For her part, Tara fell in love with a former police officer, Marcus Harper, a man who shared her Christian faith and her love of athletics and competition, she had told Perry.
Though Tara had always remained an important figure in his life, Perry and his old friend had not spoken since the late summer of 2004, around the time that Perry wed. There was no acrimony between them, their bond was very much intact, he said, but both he and Tara seemed to have decided without really deciding that since he was married and she was hoping to be, that propriety dictated that there be fewer calls, less contact. Both had their own lives.
For the most part, Perry says he said little about his long friendship to his wife, not because he wanted to hide anything, but because it simply was not at the center of his new world.
A message of grief, dissected by strangers
That all changed not long after Tara vanished. Deeply distressed by news that his boyhood girlfriend had vanished, he said, he sent a simple note of solidarity to her family.
In it, he said, "Tara is one of the most dynamic and beautiful people I have ever had the pleasure to be close to. I dated her for a long time, and unlike most girls that are no longer with me, I have nothing but great things to say about her. She is a loving, caring, intelligent woman, and anyone that could do her any harm must be close to (S)atan. I hope that somehow she shows up smiling and as brilliant as ever and we can all wake up from this awful dream. From across the globe, I am begging for this.
I will always love Tara Faye Grinstead...J.P."
That should have been an end to it.
But in recent days, as the investigation into Tara's disappearance grinds into its ninth month without resolution, Perry has found his words, meant as a tender expression of support for a grieving family, parsed and analyzed, in most cases by complete strangers, and the details of his personal life exposed on the Internet.
In recent days, Perry has watched as people discussed his marriage and his baby, and has seen the painful fact of his recent separation from his wife, a separation that had nothing to do with his long-ago relationship with Tara, bandied about with what he regards as little thought for his family or for him. In several cases, statements presented as key facts about him and his family have been simply wrong
In short, in the absence of fact, Perry and, by association, his estranged wife, have been intruded upon and their lives have been turned into a kind of parlor game for amateur sleuths.
To some degree, Perry says, he understands the hunger for information about Tara's disappearance. He too wants to know what became of his old companion. But he also believes that he, and others who have been the target of speculation, deserve the right to keep their private lives private. Wild speculation isn't the answer. "Speculation should only follow investigation," he said.
"I don't think you should speculate without looking into things first, because people get hurt by people just speculating and throwing things out recklessly," he said.